“Where is your hope?”
I remember sitting in a therapist’s room with Big Bro during one of his mental health crisis episodes a few years ago and hearing her ask him that question. She was probing for an answer like “my cat”, “friends”, or something superficial. As I waited for him to come up with something, I realized that my hope was in the Lord.
After a few years of crisis and wavering between exhaustion, desperation, and resolution, I realized God had given me a new mindset. The trials had brought me to a point in my walk with the Lord where I realized He was my hope. He would sustain me through the trials until He saw fit to lift me out. David found himself with the same realization and we read his words in Psalm 40:1-2:
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
I found myself overwhelmed with gratefulness in that moment. We often don’t see the growth that happens while walking through the trials. Hard times can be excruciating but later on, we can see the growth God allowed through them while we were on a path we didn’t want to take.
This past Sunday our Pastor spoke on Philippians 1:12-27 and joy (the sermon starts at 48:08). He mentioned that we can have joy if our hope is in Jesus and our eyes are not focused on ourselves. As I sat and listened the memories came flooding back. I remembered how miserable and desperate I was during the darkest days of my season of trials within trials. It was true that I didn’t quite have my eyes on Jesus. I was sinking like Peter did. {lost hope} But Jesus ultimately lifted my face towards him, gave me hope, and set me on solid ground. David also tells us the result of the Lord lifting us out of the pit in verse 3 of Psalm 40:
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.
It was in those dark moments that He taught me He was sovereign and that He had everything under control. After quite a few years of slowly losing hope, I had also lost my joy. As our pastor said, a lack of joy tends to come from lost hope. In my experience, the trials upon trials had inadvertently left me self-focused and aware of all that was wrong and all that was hard. It wasn’t until the Lord got me to understand His sovereignty and showed me that He was my hope that my perspective began to change and my joy began to return.
What a gift of grace, the perspective shift God blessed me with. He gives all His children those perspective shifts in our walk with Him.
It didn’t mean that life got easier. There were still a few tumultuous years ahead. But the restored hope and the deeper reliance on the Lord kept me strong and more joyful. Many people who worked with our family wondered how I was so strong to handle everything that kept coming and I was able to tell them that it was the Lord. I was not doing it in my own strength.
The last of the mental health services ended for Big Bro in June and we are finally experiencing life with a more “normal” experience. He has recovered and is doing really well. God intervened and took care of my son and in the process drew me into a deeper relationship with Him. Today, I am so grateful He is God and I am not. I am grateful He brings us on the path we need to take, not the one that looks good to us.
Friend, if you find yourself in the midst of hard times, on a path you would not have chosen, be encouraged. God is doing a work in your heart and life that you will be grateful for when it is all said and done. Romans 8:28 says that God works all things together for good for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. If you are a child of the King, all the difficult things will work for your good. Rest in Him and trust His sovereign plan. Thankfully that’s not something we need to do on our own, but it is something He enables us to do. Like Thomas, ask Him to help your unbelief, to open your eyes, and to help you trust Him and His plan. Hope also is alive in us when we trust God and fully surrender to His plan. In verse 4 of Psalm 40, David tells us:
Blessed is the man who makes
the Lord his trust,
who does not turn to the proud,
to those who go astray after a lie.
After walking through multiple hard times, I began to notice how He had worked before, and each time it got a little easier to trust Him. It will be that way for each child of God and, at some point, when someone asks you where your hope is, you’ll be able to confidently say,
”My hope is in the Lord.”
