He Beckons Me

Prayer seems to be the theme of things lately.  Everywhere I turn, I’m reading, hearing or listening to something about prayer.  I’m getting the sense that God is calling me to a deeper level of relationship with him, which is awesome and exciting to me.

When I feel Him talking to me and teaching me, I know what I believe is real.  It is assurance of my salvation because if I wasn’t saved, I would not feel and hear Him.

I used to wonder as I was growing up what “head knowledge” and “heart knowledge” meant and I desperately wanted to feel the difference.  My dad is a very theological man.  So I had lots of head knowledge.  I knew intellectually I was a sinner, but that didn’t match how my heart felt.

I used to wonder how people could read the Bible because when I would try I would have to read the same verse or sentence over and over because it didn’t make any sense.

And I used to wonder how people could say they were certain they were saved.  I knew I was a sinner and needed to repent.  I had done that over and over and even asked Jesus into my heart many times but it never felt any different.

Until God opened my eyes and began teaching and guiding me.  I remember it clear as day.  It was shortly after we brought big bro home from the hospital.  I had picked up a little booklet from my dad written by Charles Spergeon and was reading through it one night when hubby was working late.

It was as if in that moment, my head knowledge dropped down into my heart, taking the scales off my eyes as it fell.  I remember reading familiar content and information but this time it made sense.  I began to understand- truly understand and make connections between my life and scripture.  I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed and being afraid I wouldn’t be able remember all I was putting together in those moments.

And in those moments, my wonderings stopped.  The first things I understood were what heart knowledge was, how incredible reading the Bible is and what it feels like to have assurance of salvation.

So as He calls me to understand prayer and as he beckons me follow Him down a new path, I am ready and excited to learn what he wants to teach me.

I just realized this morning as I read the newest post from Ann Voskamp that I was on a new journey.  It is actually a guest post by Gari Meacham talking about faith and prayer and it is definitely worth the read.  Make sure you volume is turned on.  Ann’s music is amazing!

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