I looked out the window the other day and saw the sun shining on the changing leaves from the south. The colors were illuminated and shining, reflecting that bright sunlight. However, the sky to the north was dark and grey as a storm was rolling in. This made quite a contrast and brought me to a place of reflection. What a picture of life.
Right now that image parallels my life. That bright sunlight is like the new baby and infant snuggles I am privileged to experience one more time. It’s the moments where the boys and I are enjoying our day and the wonder in the eyes of my preschooler.
But those dark clouds are the APD showing up and the preteen garbage. It’s the long hours with the kiddos alone because of the demands of Hubby’s job. It’s the overwhelm that threatens to take over daily.
They can and do exist together in my life just like the storm rolling in while the sun is shining. It seemed profound at the moment, almost answering a question I have had in my mind.
How can living the dream God placed in your heart be so painful?
It has always been my dream to be a homeschooling mom to at least 4 with a garden and to live that homespun, farm family lifestyle. When you think of living out your dream life you don’t think of hardship. You don’t equate that with overwhelm. Yet that’s exactly where I find myself. The sun is shining and the storm clouds are close behind.
If there’s one thing I have learned from walking with God over the years is that living your dream means you are living out God’s plan for your life. And if you are living in His will, then those storms will mature and grow you to be more like Jesus.
I’ve also learned recently that you have to be careful not to fall into the trap of the devil making you feel like you are all alone in living out your dream with your struggles. Everyone is struggling with something but the devil likes to whisper in your ear that you are the only one with a troubling child or an inconsiderate husband or whatever you are dealing with. *Insert your own struggle here.* I feel into that trap years ago and God just recently showed me what had happened. Thank you Lord for rescuing me!
God’s sovereignty is something that was deeply ingrained into me growing up. I have clung to His sovereignty for many years through living out my dream in my marriage and my motherhood journey. It is God who has brought the trials into my life and God who has brought good and growth from them. He has brought the sunshine and allowed the dark clouds. Psalm 29 was the scripture of a devotional recently and I was so encouraged by the words David penned describing God’s sovereignty.
1 Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
2 Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.
3 The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the Lord thunders over the mighty waters.
4 The voice of the Lord is powerful;
the voice of the Lord is majestic.
5 The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;
the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.
6 He makes Lebanon leap like a calf,
Sirion like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the Lord strikes
with flashes of lightning.
8 The voice of the Lord shakes the desert;
the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the Lord twists the oaks
and strips the forests bare.
And in his temple all cry, “Glory!”
10 The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord is enthroned as King forever.
11 The Lord gives strength to his people;
the Lord blesses his people with peace.
Psalm 29
Psalm 29 is so encouraging to read. It puts life into perspective for me because it reminds me that God is over all and he is in control. He makes the sun to shine and the storm clouds to roll in. And He can graciously make them happen together. He will give His people strength (like the storm clouds) and peace (like the sunshine).
