Well, have you survived the holidays so far? I am thankful for the few day break from the festivities to catch me breath! December held a crazy-making pace between the ceiling project and all the baking and cooking that needed to be done to maintain normalcy for Big Bro, not to mention the normal seasonal activities of shopping and wrapping as well as the daily run-a-household type duties.
But all is well that ends well, I suppose. Everything got done and completed and we are on the other side of insane now!
At the end of this year, though, I am standing amazed at what a year it was. I began the year with the words peaceful calm as my phrase for the year, having no idea what would lay in store. Trials abounded. Life got tough and trying. It was truly a year of one set of footprints in the sand, as I lived life in His strength.
I experienced for myself how the hardest times can be the sweetest times as they bring about a closeness and communion with God that just cannot be experienced in the good times.
Looking back, things got really rough with Big Bro resulting in the addition of prescription meds to our regime. Working with Dr West and developing the lagging reflexes brought a roller coaster ride of behavior and although it is ending well, proved challenging. Our water issues worsened and got slightly better but I eventually lost the capability of doing laundry at home. Our kitchen floor got ruined and brought down to sub-floor which is still an unresolved issue. My marriage entered a state of unrest as I was pushed to my max physically, emotionally and mentally trying to navigate this ADHD issue, compensate for the household and water issues and work through differences between Hubby and I.
But God is faithful. He carried me through and taught me some lessons. Little did I know then, but as I went through it but it all resulted in bringing about the peaceful calm that I started searching for in January.
Through all of that unpleasantness, He enabled me to begin truly studying His word. And as I studied, prayed and sought Him, he has begun to remedy the issues. Really, he has begun to set my heart attitude right. “Create a clean heart in me, Oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me” has become my prayer more than once as I walked through the past year.
Right off the bat last January, my journey began with a diet overhaul. I began taking gluten and grain into consideration and discovered that eliminating gluten and minimizing grain consumption alleviated my headaches, exhaustion and brain fog allowing for higher function.
God showed me that I was struggling with ADD/ADHD also and then brought me to a place of surrender to His will for my life and as I surrendered He relieved and calmed my restless mind. The drive and urgency that once propelled me into an overwhelming number of projects is gone and I have been able to begin finishing things that have been in the works for years. Finishing things is good for the soul, so I am finding!
He showed me how to respect and honor my husband and as I submitted to His plan and design for marriage, the signs of life have again begun to appear between us.
He showed me how to forgive past hurts from others as I studied the life of Joseph and understood that God allowed Joseph’s brothers to act the way they did for His purposes. All that I have been through because of the actions of others was really God shaping me to fulfill His purpose for creating me.
All of that has enabled me to not only feel peacefully calm, but act more peacefully calm as well towards Big bro. Although I still get riled up sometimes, I am finding that when I am calm, he is more likely to be also. It is amazing to see him reading on his own now and building with Lego’s for an extended period of time. His writing is neat and beautiful. We are seeing a little self-control emerge as well as some of the egocentric tendencies disappearing. We still have a long way to go, but we can look back and see how far we have come!
I would say this has been the most trying year of my life so far. But it has also produced the greatest growth in me and for that I thankful for the trials God brought me through. Never in a million years would I have guessed what lay ahead of me when I chose to seek peaceful calm for my person, home and family. That choice was God-orchestrated and watching Him move and work has been awesome.
How about you? Did you choose a word or phrase like I did last January and experience God’s hand in our life? I would love to hear your story!