“I can’t go on like this. This will end, right?”
A few years ago, while blueberry picking on a bright sunny day, I ran into a mom who was getting a reprieve from the beginning of what would be an exhausting and frustrating journey with her 3-year-old. After hearing me say I had been on a similar journey with my son, she stopped picking blueberries and asked me if it would end. She looked me straight in the eye and finished her question with a “right?”, hoping that I would say yes, that the difficulty would end.
But I couldn’t tell her it would, no matter how much I wanted to put her mind at rest. Every child and circumstance is different. She was walking the road of seeking help and being told nothing was wrong. She was going to have to research and experiment and fight for her precious little guy, all alone. In these scenarios, we discover motherhood is hard, beyond hard even.
My heart broke for her, and it breaks for other mothers in the same circumstance. Finding answers while trying to deal with problems is difficult! My heart breaks for you, too, if you also find yourself in this place.
Are you a mom who feels like you can’t go on today?
Do you feel like you are in a winter season of life? I’m glad you stopped by here to my corner of the web. I’m not sure where you are in your parenting journey, but I wish I could fix you a cup of coffee or tea. I, unfortunately, know a little too well that nothing will ease the ache of raising a child who takes everything you’ve got and then some.
I’ve lived my share of days feeling like I couldn’t go on another minute. Sometimes there have been moments where I felt like I almost couldn’t breathe. Exhaustion and frustration become constant companions. All the effort you pour into surviving and finding solutions will threaten to wreck you. But it won’t. Instead, it will change you and make you stronger. Winter is a season, and spring will come.
You are not alone.
Please, please, please know that you are not alone. Even though the professionals you expect to have answers for you simply don’t and dismiss you. Even when you feel like you can’t go on, and especially when well-meaning family blames you and friends step away from friendships with you and your kiddos. Motherhood feels especially hard when God feels far away and like He’s not listening. There are more of us moms around who feel that motherhood is hard than you realize. God is there even when it feels like He’s not. You are not alone in this winter season! Here’s what God says:
“Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you.” –James 4:8
“I will never leave you or forsake you.” –Deuteronomy 31:8
These are God’s promises, and he will meet you in this challenging place and sustain you. Cling tightly to those promises! I didn’t always feel that He was near, but I learned to keep leaning into Him anyway. The trials we go through as moms because motherhood is hard are often in part used to shape, mold, and train us in the things of God. They serve a dual purpose as they grow us closer to the Lord while building character in our kids. Ultimately, it will all bring glory to God.
I can’t tell you feeling like motherhood is hard will end.
But I can tell you this. There will be a day when you will realize, through tears, that you haven’t had a day like this in a long time. That day will show you that you aren’t where you once were. If you persevere, your normal will change, and things will improve. I can tell you that winter will turn into spring.
I can’t tell you at what point that will happen for you. For me, it was 6-7 years into my journey. We hit the “terrible twos” at 18 months and stayed in the be-consistent-and-they’ll-get-it stage until somewhere around 9. The day I realized growth and change had happened for the first time was an amazing day. Through my tears and desperation, God showed me that He had been working and gave me hope to carry on. I can only pray that your journey will be quicker and that God will guide you to answers more quickly. But mama, you will get to that point where you will see your perseverance paying off. It will feel like your riding a roller coaster, but God will keep giving you little reminders that He’s working.
The most critical piece of my journey has been my relationship with the Lord. I have leaned on God’s sovereignty, most of all, knowing that none of that I was going through surprised Him. He already knew the outcome. I cast my cares on Him because he cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). God has been, without a doubt, my rock and my deliverer through the challenging years. I have no doubt that He brought people and resources into my life at the right time. God has been the giver of wisdom, showing me what to do next. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He has orchestrated each step of our journey with His divine hand and will continue to do so. He has a purpose and a reason for everything my family and I have gone through.
Let God lead you when you feel like you can’t go on.
Momma, if you feel like you can’t do this another day or even another minute, just cry out to your Heavenly Father, who loves you so much. He is waiting for you to put your trust in Him and seek His face through this time when motherhood is hard. If you are already His child, then turn it over to Him and leave the burden at the foot of the cross. Let him lead you through this journey. He promises to supply all that we need according to the riches in Christ.
Read through the Psalms and take comfort in David’s words. The man after God’s own heart and the one God appointed to be King of Israel often felt the same way you and I have felt.
If you do not have a relationship with the Lord, I’d like to be the one to tell you that the One who created you cares for you. He knows your heartache right now and is waiting with open arms for your belief in Him. He sent His son Jesus to pay the price for your sin and make it possible for you to have eternal life. Becoming His child will bring you peace and comfort in these challenging days. The Bible says, plain and simple, in Acts 16:31: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.”
Will you answer His call and begin to walk with the King in faith and trust? If you have just started your walk with the Lord, begin by reading the book of John in the New Testament. You can read more about salvation and faith in Jesus here.
God’s got this!
My faith and walk with the Lord are, hands down, the thing that has sustained me through the intense hard years. Yes, there were tangible pieces to our journey. We did all sorts of therapies, exercises, diets, and disciplines, among other things. You can see some of what we have used/done in my Resource Library, and you can read more of my story in my free ebook Perspective Changes Everything. Ultimately though, it was God who brought those into our life at the proper time. If you follow God’s lead, He will do the same for you.
Hang in there, Momma! Motherhood is hard, but you’re not alone in your journey. God’s got this! And I’ll be praying for you.
With love and prayers,
Lucille
For further reading and inspiration:
Remembrance- Why is it Important?
Burned out or Poured Out?
