This parenting thing is really hard. At least in my house it pushes me right to the edge and sometimes over. Yet again we have entered crisis mode. Yesterday I left him in a meltdown puddle on the school floor with 2 counselors and a teacher.
Talk about your heart breaking.
Crisis-mode is holding your breath and walking on eggshells. I never quite know what I am picking up after school or where I’m going to get him.
Crisis-mode this time means finding a therapist. Walking yet another unfamiliar road. With new people and places.
All I can do is remember God’s faithfulness up til now and how he has provided the right people at the right time. People who offered encouragement, helped support our efforts and introduced new methods from their experience. He has provided teachers, school staff, doctors and health care professionals, family, friends and church family.
Clearly God’s hand has been in this journey and still I find myself at identifying with the words in this song, Help Me Find It, by Sidewalk Prophets says.
“Where do I go from here?” and “Help me find this road we are supposed to be on.”
We are back to an hour plus for bedtime and I’m begging ‘give me peace in this moment because I need to be still.’
We are back to jumping on the beds before 6:30AM when the eyes open and scaling everything in sight once he’s up.
The sensory is demanding and the nerves are fried and the anxiety levels are high.
All I can do is exchange my fear for faith and my doubt for grace. I am so thankful I can say He has never let me go~ He’s with me to steady my heart and emotions if I ask.
Its a day early, but enjoy your weekend!
